What can we say or do?

What can we say or do when illness and death have occurred around us??

16 years working in Palliative Care, I have encountered the profound impact illness and death can have on families and friends. It's not only a professional experience but a personal one, as I also have ageing parents and friends who have recently lost their loved ones, which has prompted this post.

In light of this, I'd like to share some acceptable and heartwarming ways to check in with family and friends during challenging times from both a professional and personal perspective.

1. Reach Out: A simple call or message can mean the world. Let them know you're there, willing to listen, and offer support without judgment. Try not to say things like… from my experience… or what helped me… it’s not about you thankfully this time. Also consider not overwhelming the person… in a fortnight or 2 months time reach out again, it could actually mean so much more. This could be when reality is hitting home hard.

2. Send a Thoughtful Note: Handwritten letters or heartfelt cards can provide comfort and show you care, even from afar. This will also be appreciated on anniversaries. They will never forget these dates.

3. Offer Practical Help: Whether it's running errands, preparing meals, picking their kids up from school, taking care of household tasks, practical support can really lighten the load.

4. Celebrate Memories: Share stories or memories of their loved ones. Laugh sharing those funny moments. Be the shoulder to cry on too. Don’t be afraid to use the name of the person who has passed away either, it’s not Taboo.

5. Floral arrangements… yes they are beautiful…but… can you imagine how overwhelming it could be to walk into a room with 6 or more bouquets? Or lugging these into the car on your way out of the Hospital? And.. I hate to break it to you… lots are left behind in the hospital… lovely for staff…They do brighten hallways and tea rooms! Think outside the square for your family or friend… a pot plant, citrus tree, chocolates, freshly cooked biscuit’s. Put those thinking caps on.

6. Respect Boundaries: Everyone copes differently with grief. Respect their need for space and privacy, but also be available when they're ready to connect.

During challenging times, compassion and empathy can make a world of difference. Let's continue to support each other in both our personal and professional networks.

#socialworkperspective #personalexperience #grief #thriveoutwest #palliativecare